Don't Tell Mom Your Getting Married until After You've Eaten

Dinner didn’t go as planned. Why should it? Nothing ever goes as planned.

Note to self: stop planning.

Mom offered to take my daughters and I out to a local Italian joint for dinner. It’s nothing fancy just great food.

We were all starving after a great day of shopping at the mall. I bought both girls new shirts and let them go crazy shopping. Teens, there not hard to please if you have cash.

I wasn’t feeling very well. Walking around downtown Chicago last Wednesday landed me a monster head cold. I’m tuff, I can take it. Teens and a head cold, the joys of parenthood.

We drove to Angelino’s on US19 in Palm Harbor Florida. Great food at reasonable prices. I was excited about the Chicken Pasta. After a short wait we were seated in the middle of the room.

The girls were excited. Shopping had given them an appetite and they were ready to dig in. We ordered our food and the salads soon followed.

I was wondering when would be the best time to break the big news. In my head the speech was twirling around. The best way to do this was to just come out and say it. I figured the best time would be during the main course.

Our waitress laid down our plates overflowing with piping hot Italian food. It smelled delicious and even though I wasn’t feeling well I knew that I could do some real damage. We started to dig in.

Now’s the time. I’m going to do it.

I looked across the table at my youngest daughter. My mom was sitting next to me, Cassi across from her. I was cutting into my chicken while talking. I had that “a matter of fact” tone.

“I have some big news”, I said.

Cassandra got a nasty look. She’s obviously not pleased about his marriage and she’s been waiting to see how my Mom will lay into me. This is the moment she’s been waiting for.

“It’s good news. Tuesday, I’m getting married”.

Silence.

My mom throws her fork into her plate as if it became white hot. The drama had begun. She was offended and she wanted the whole resteraunt to know about.

I continued eating. Cassi was smiling. My youngest was surprised but happy.

My mom starred forward as if possessed. “How long have you know about this?” she said.

“How long have I known about this?” I replied. “What? Why does that matter? I guess since I proposed.”

This was her first reaction. Nothing was logical about it, but then again, logic and my mother are rarely used in the same sentence. I guess that she was hoping to add deceit into my list of sins.

She continued to stare off. Her food sat in front of her untouched. My daughters continued to eat through the very awkward silence.

I was embarrassed. My youngest daughter was obviously uncomfortable with my moms reaction. Cassi was thrilled; this was going even better than she had hoped.

A very long period of silence went by.

“I was hoping you were going to be happy for me. I guess that’s not going to happen. What’s the problem?” I offered.

“It’s only the biggest moment of my life” she said with conviction. “My sons getting married and I’m not invited”

Cue violins.

“Nobody is invited mom. Just Nanci and I are going to be there. Cassi didn’t want to be there anyways.”

Cassi nodded her head in agreement, still thrilled with the wrath that her Nana was unveiling upon her father.

“Is it legal?” she said while still staring off into outerspace.

“yes mom, it’s very legal. In Colorado you can do it yourself, and that’s what we are doing. I was hoping you were going to be happy for me, but I guess I was hoping for to much.”

I had to throw some guilt back at her, even though it had no effect.

“I can’t figure out why you’re so surprised. I assumed Cassi would have already told you.” I called her bluff.

“Well she did, but you know” was her answer.

Another very long silence as we finished our dinner.

“Why aren’t you eating?” I asked

“I’m not hungry” her final words of the night.

The check came and I decided that I was buying dinner. Considering that I had obviously ruined it, it seemed the right thing to do.

It was a long uncomfortable ride home. Mom didn’t say a word for the rest of the night. I joined my daughters for videos in their bedroom before leaving to hook up with some friends.

Moral of the story. Don’t tell Mom you’re getting married until after the desert is finished.

Tonight I fly back to Chicago to be with Nanci. I’ll miss my daughters, but I’m glad to be leaving. Tuesday we fly to Vail to be married. I’m glad we didn’t invite my family.